Macolytes Drool for the iStrudel... I mean Tablet.

via lovehatethings

Is everyone heading down to the Great Outdoor Sports Equipment Supply Depot to get their backpacks ready for a three week stint in a line outside their neighborhood Apple Store to wait for the new iTablet? Have you borrowed your sci-fi geek friend’s Dune-inspired Fremen suit so that you can filter your own urine and sweat and not give up your spot in line? Why are people so excited for a fragile 11″ piece of vaporware?

I just don’t get it. I do have issues which make me question why I would EVER want one of these rumored devices and, by extension, why anyone else would.

First Issue: iPhone OS – I can’t imagine having a big screen version that merely echoes the functionality of an iPhone. The iPhone OS is neat, but if this device is going to replace a netbook, I have the feeling people will want to run more than one application at a time. Notice how the iPhone commercials never say “there are Apps for that.” To promote this as a slogan would imply that you could run “apps” and not “app”. A tablet will HAVE to get a better version of the iPhone OS if it’s going to be used for anything useful whatsoever.

I just don’t get it. I do have issues which make me question why I would EVER want one of these rumored devices and, by extension, why anyone else would.

First Issue: iPhone OS – I can’t imagine having a big screen version that merely echoes the functionality of an iPhone. The iPhone OS is neat, but if this device is going to replace a netbook, I have the feeling people will want to run more than one application at a time. Notice how the iPhone commercials never say “there are Apps for that.” To promote this as a slogan would imply that you could run “apps” and not “app”. A tablet will HAVE to get a better version of the iPhone OS if it’s going to be used for anything useful whatsoever.

Second Issue: form factor – Why on earth would I lug around an 11″ version of an iPhone/Touch. The iPhone fits in my pocket. I would have to buy some sort of European carryall to accommodate this funky new device to do the same things I do with a pocket-sized gadget. And while I admit that I sometimes wish I had a bigger keyboard on my iPod Touch, larger screen buttons won’t convince me to switch. In addition, think of one of the most popular additions to the iPhone 3GS: video. Picture yourself holding an 11″ slab up in front of your face to take a picture or shoot a video. And I can’t foresee holding this up to my head to answer a phonecall.

Third Issue: price – A high GB iPhone, without a subsidy from a mobile provider, can cost upwards of $699. A 10″ screen tablet would have to cost, being generously frugal, between $1000-$1200. Assuming there’s Bluetooth with the new device, a funky iEar could be packaged with the device in order to allow a mobile subsidy to apply. Maybe a $100 belt clip could be sold as an accessory and it would look like you had a digital picture frame hanging from your waist. I have a tough time justifying a $300-$500 netbook when I can buy a full laptop for between $500-$600. Apple never does things on the cheap, and I can imagine this might the most expensive Strudel… I mean Tablet… on the block.

If a netbook was originally meant for someone who didn’t need a laptop, but wanted to stay connected to the net in a slightly larger form factor, who will the tablet be for – someone who really doesn’t need an Macbook but wants to stay connected? Because from what I can see, the Macolytes who would buy the tablet would also own the Macbook Air and Apple TV and the iPhone and a black turtleneck and a polished aluminum MacMini with an etching of Steve Jobs profile. The iStrudel doesn’t replace anything except cash from your wallet with air.